The Israelites collecting their daily manna from God
There is an ongoing, though very inconsequential, debate within the running community regarding which is superior: an indoor run (via treadmill) or an outdoor run. Along with location and weather, a factor that used to always push me to be in favor of an outdoor run was the visibility: there was always something so encouraging about seeing the next turn, the next mile, the finish line.
Then my opinion changed. I used to run mainly to stay in shape for sports in middle and high school. Every run was the same distance and pace, and I always knew I could do it. You can imagine, then, that running on the treadmill was quite boring, consisting of constant glances at the little distance monitor on the screen, and a very limited creativity as to how to pass the time. But recently, as I started training for my first distance race, my runs have gotten longer and more challenging. No longer am I just trying to pass the time; rather, I’m often just trying to get to the next mile (or next tenth of a mile) without stopping. No longer is seeing the distance in front of me on an outdoor route entertaining; rather, it can be daunting and discouraging, reminding me of just how much distance lies ahead.
This shift in how I view my runs has happened to match a shift in how I’ve been viewing my spiritual life. There are times when I feel very comfortable in my spiritual growth and state. During these times, when I am so confident that God is present, that His love is real, and that I am growing closer to Him, it is amazing to “run outside.” Seeing the stretch of road in front of me, the scenery around me, and how much further I have to grow has the same effect as it did on my runs a few years ago. Feeling confident in my endurance, and not at all concerned about fatigue or struggle, I am able to enjoy looking at the stretch of spiritual growth before me, seeing it as an achievement I know I will indubitably achieve. Why wouldn’t I, when I know He is there with me, encouraging me, and helping me with every step?
However, there are also moments when the presence of God that is so necessary to enjoy the “run” doesn’t feel very present at all. In moments like these, when looking ahead reminds me more of my own weakness than His strength, the temptation towards despair is very real. I can’t do it, I can’t imagine how I can keep going, and the stretch of road that I can see in the distance looks too much for me to handle right now.
Right now. That is the key phrase. And in order to see why, we need to look to the book of Genesis:
“The Lord said to Moses:
I have heard the grumbling of the Israelites. Tell them: In the evening twilight you will eat meat, and in the morning you will have your fill of bread, and then you will know that I, the LORD, am your God.
In the evening, quail came up and covered the camp. In the morning there was a layer of dew all about the camp,
and when the layer of dew evaporated, fine flakes were on the surface of the wilderness, fine flakes like hoarfrost on the ground.
On seeing it, the Israelites asked one another, ‘What is this?’ for they did not know what it was. But Moses told them, “It is the bread which the LORD has given you to eat.”(1)
For context, God, through the obedience of Moses, had just freed His people, the Israelites, from slavery in Egypt. He had promised them He would lead them to the Promised Land. But the journey to get there was drier, hotter, and longer than they expected. They were hungry, exhausted, and literally begging to go back to Egypt. They were so discouraged, lacking trust in God’s promise so much, that they would rather have been slaves again than continue moving forward. So, God provided food to satisfy their needs and prove He was with them. It is important to note, however, that the help came in a way they didn’t expect. “What is this?” The proof of God’s presence and love was something they hadn’t seen before. It was the correct answer to their prayer, yes, but something they expected, no.
Scripture continues by saying:
Moses said to them, ‘Let no one leave any of it over until morning.’
But they did not listen to Moses, and some kept a part of it over until morning, and it became wormy and stank.(1)
What do we now see going on? God provided them food, but it was only enough for one day. If they tried to take more, it went bad. Why did He do this? Was He trying to play “gotcha,” trying to catch them acting poorly, trying to be stern and overbearing? No. God, being love and goodness Himself, was helping them learn to trust Him. What was the problem? They were in the desert, they were used to being fed consistently, and they weren’t used to trusting in God’s goodness. So the remedy? A trust fall exercise. Every single day. “I will provide for you one day at a time,” said the Lord. “Just one. Don’t be tempted to grasp for more. Don’t be tempted to try and catch yourself. Let me catch you.”
And you know what happened? He caught them every single day. There was always manna when they woke up.
What can we learn from this? We too go through spiritually challenging times. Times when we don’t know how we can possibly take another step, how God will work any of this out, how we will ever manage what the future may hold.
God promised us something, too. Among other things, He promised to always be with us, to always be our help, always be our source of strength. He promised us eternity with Him. But like the Israelites, the journey can often be drier, hotter, and longer than we thought. We pray, we strive, and yet we still feel like turning around will be better.
What we don’t often consider, however, is that maybe God is also trying to teach us to trust Him. Look back on the last few years, maybe even few months, of your life: has there ever been a time when a prayer was answered in a way you didn’t expect? A rejection of an opportunity you begged Him to grant you with hands clasped in prayer, only to realize that you are much better off because of it? A blessing in your life that you realize wouldn’t have happened if not for a random deviation in your plans one day? God has given us all “manna” before, blessings and answers to our prayers that make us ask “what is it?”
And if He has done it once, He can do it again. But remember: for the Israelites, the manna was on a daily basis. By God’s design, if they ever were to worry to themselves that they would go hungry the next day, they would have to trust that as God said, so He would do. He would give the blessings and graces they needed in the exact moment they needed them. That is the right now I was referring to at the beginning of this reflection.
And so too it is for us now.
I can’t imagine how I can run the next mile. But I can take this step. And the next. And the next. Until the step I am taking is eventually the last one, crossing the finish line.
I can’t imagine how I will get through this time of desolation. Until I make it to the next day, the next prayer, the next confession, the next mass. Until one day, when I realize I made it out. And you know what? God was leading me the whole time, providing me with my very own manna for the day at each moment, exactly when I needed it. And so He does for you as well, and so He always will.
References:
Genesis 16:11-15, 19-20 https://bible.usccb.org/bible/exodus/16
